Totaled

The Sad Story of a Boy and His Car

On an August 1 trip to my ancestral homeland in the wilds of South Jersey to look in on my brother who was facing some medical challenges, I made an incredibly boneheaded decision while driving and caused an accident. The driver of the other car had no way to avoid hitting me, and I got T-boned on my starboard side and spun around a bit. It was quite an impact, but all the wonderful safety devices in my car operated at advertised and I was unhurt. The poor lady who hit me (or more to the point, who I caused to hit me) was a little upset but otherwise unhurt. Within fifteen seconds or so, a voice popped into my car to tell me that their sensors indicated that I had been in an accident, and they wanted to know if I was ok. I was able to give them all the info and ask them to have the constabulary come.

When the police officer got to my car, he asked all the right questions and then asked if I felt I could drive the car over to the nearby parking lot. I was amazed that he thought the vehicle was drivable (I had not gotten out of the car) but he said that it looked like it was. He’d hold up traffic and I could scoot over and into the lot. He was right, the car started and drove over.

I tried as hard as I could to let the lady I hit know that I would do the right thing without saying to her that “yes, I made a horrible decision”. When the cop asked what happened, I told the truth, and he said that it matched what she reported. He then thanked me for not giving him a load of B.S.

I was unhurt, she was unhurt, her husband and daughter showed up and we had a nice chat, and then we went our separate ways, with my insurance company ultimately acknowledging fault and a pretty large initial estimate from the body shop here in Easton to fix things (not to mention some cosmetic damage to the other vehicle).

I’ve never been in an accident remotely as violent as this was. Air bags along the passenger side deployed, all the seat belt restraints did their jobs, and the right side of the car was crushed. The initial look from the body shop was followed up with a serious look that indicated that the floor of the car had buckled and the pillar between the two passenger doors was damaged. This along with a whole lot of sensor resetting/replacement appears to have caused my insurance company to decide to total it. This decision has left me glum.

I loved this car. I loved this car so much I got rid of two others, both of which I also loved but each of which had grown long in the tooth and started to show it. I had grown confident that the collision place would be able to fix it, as I had driven it home from NJ with no problems (well, except without the use of seat belts) and the confidence of the initial estimate. The notification Friday that the car was a total sorta came out of nowhere. A bit of internet research leads me to believe that total calls are more common on lux cars (it was a 2023 Mercedes E-Class) as the safety built in isn’t necessarily designed for anything but protecting people (rather than leaving a car worth fixing afterward). I understand this prioritization. But I am sad anyway.

I went to the collision place today to claim all the stuff I left in it, and as I walked up to it from the port side, she was there in all her beauty, the apple of my eye. Then I got a look inside and saw the teardown necessary to access all the stuff they had to access, and then I saw the starboard side which was an utter mess. Utterly brutal.

I’m mad at myself for the boneheaded mistake. I’m mad that I’ll have to go through another car-buying experience after having just done one nine months ago. I’m mad that the insurance company’s settlement offer ignored several options that were in fact, installed (a generous offer, though, which I supplemented with the additional information). I’m mad I had to go and get a document “notarized”, as if this is some 16th century French manor town. I’m mad at the additional expense I’ll incur for my boneheaded mistake.

I’m thankful that there is a vehicle here I can use in the interim. I’m thankful I wasn’t hurt. I’m thankful the other driver wasn’t hurt. I’m thankful for all the engineers who spent years and years of their lives working on little tiny upgrades, all of which activated on time and as specified. I’m thankful to the insurance company (USAA) who has been fast and forward leaning from the get go. And I’m thankful for Catherine in my life who just sat me down and listened to me bitch about all this like a little child.

I suppose within a few days, I’ll have the check from the insurance company and I can go back out and look. I really, really just want the exact same car, but the combination (black exterior, brown interior) isn’t all that common. I wonder if I’d sit in a black on black version and always think what could have been.