War in the Middle East

The Folly of Focusing on The Indo-Pacific

I awoke Saturday to the stunning news of Hamas’ dastardly attack on Israel, and if you are a reader who believes that there is some kind of equivalence needed in US foreign policy toward Israel and the Palestinians, this is not the place for you. We talk all the time about a “special relationship” with the UK, and that relationship is a bulwark of our alliance structure and our approach to Europe. But our relationship with Israel is even more special, in that within that part of the world, Israel is often our ONLY real friend. Like any real friendship it has its moments of strain, but like the relationship with the UK, we can count on them when we need them, and they can count on us when they need us.

Hamas is an Iranian client, and this attack COULD ONLY have been pulled off with heavy Iranian backing. You remember Iran, right, the country that we just gave $6B to? The one we are hopelessly courting for a big “nuclear deal”? The one who just copped to blowing up our Marines in Beirut? The one who wants to wipe Israel off the map? Yes. That Iran. That Iran is not happy with recent warming of relations between Israel and Saudi Arabia, so why not start something designed to put the Saudis in a bad position by forcing them to either look bad by not supporting the Palestinians or look bad by not supporting their new friends.

Just an aside—the fact that the $6B has purportedly has strings attached to it that the US State Department maintains preclude Iran from using for terror purposes—is being used by administration flacks to suggest that tying that money to these attacks is nonsensical. The only thing nonsensical here is ignoring that money is fungible.

It will be interesting to see how this goes for Mr. Netanyahu, in that either the Israeli public will rally around him or they will defenestrate him over what appears to be a pretty significant intelligence failure. I say “failure” realizing what a terrible term that is, for the requirements levied against Israel’s intelligence services are monumental in a region where they are reviled. In their position, there can be no failures. Yet there was.

It strikes me also as possible that this sets off a wider war between Israel and Iran, and while it is oh so fashionable these days to think that we only have strategic interests in the Indo-Pacific, the war in Ukraine put the lie to that. A war in the Middle East should destroy it for good. Will we go to war in any of these places? Not necessarily. Do we have interests in all three of these geographies? You’re damn right we do, and the people that look after our interests around the world with immediate ability to defend them are called “Sailors” and “Marines”. You can read more about them here.

I raise this last point because there are far too many national security types who have become hyper-focused on China to the point of whipping up frenzy against any military commitments elsewhere. We simply don’t have that luxury. We have global interests and those interests must be tended. Every conversation about losing the focus on China proceeds from the false premise that we cannot afford to be a global power. This is wrong. Decline has been—and is—a choice. If we chose to remain a global power capable of defending its global interests, we could do so.

Curmudgeonly Comedy

My brother Patrick and I went to see Jerry Seinfeld’s comedy act in Philly last Friday night, the second time that I’ve done such a thing (seen Seinfeld live). The first was back in the 04-06 timeframe when I lived in Norfolk. I know I enjoyed myself, but I don’t remember any of the bits or the general run of that show. I initially bought the tickets for the Kitten and myself, but as the show approached and I tried to pin her down on things, she said something like, “maybe you should take Pat instead. I mean, he’s so dark and complainy these days”. Dark and complainy? Really? I had no idea. Her initial interest was sparked because I sold it as a “Seinfeld and Gaffigan” appearance, as the two are pairing up on tour for a smattering of dates and I thought this was one of those. But it wasn’t. To check up on her assessment of Jerry’s act, I spent a little time in the wormhole of the internet looking at clips of his comedy, and lo and behold, she was right. On his eponymous television show, George was the curmudgeon, the one whose temper when from 0-60 in five seconds. Jerry—while capable of an occasional outburst—was the even keeled one, the foil to George’s hyperactivity. Not so much in his stage show.

Brother Patrick (r.) and I waiting on a SEPTA train into Philly

Now—I’m NOT a Seinfeld expert by any stretch. Between being underway and grad school (and as I’ve said here before), I sorta missed pop culture in the 90’s. I’ve seen many a Seinfeld episode since, but there are huge holes in my familiarity with his oeuvre. But do not be thrown off by the direction I’ve gone in so far. Seinfeld’s maturation and gaining of wisdom—as evidenced by his increased curmudgeonality—is a good thing. My humor (unlike that of the Kitten) is, well, dark and complainy.

Not that I am funny, mind you. Just ask my family, who believe that my brand of sarcastic humor is simply not funny. They think that way about sarcasm most of the time, but when one of my other brothers with a similar sense of humor turned it toward me—THAT was hilarious. But I digress. Seinfeld was preceded by some comic I did not recognize but who had apparently had a long friendship with Jerry. He was not funny. The audience laughed when they should, but more out of a sense of warming up than out of any real comedic reaction. We all knew Jerry was gonna make us laugh, and we needed to be ready when he showed up. But his warmup act did maybe 10 minutes, and as I sat and listened to how unfunny he was, I realized that there was not a world in existence where I could be anywhere NEAR as funny for even one minute. Being funny on purpose is hard. I think all funny people are REALLY SMART—they notice things, they synthesize. But not all smart people are funny, though some (ahem) think they are. On the rare occasions where I am funny, it is almost exclusively because of a quick quip that spurts out without much of a delay between the thought behind it and the sounds that convey it. Were I to sit down and consciously try to be funny, I might as well be sitting down to score an opera. It just isn’t in me.

Jerry’s sarcasm and curmudgeonly demeanor suits him, but I wasn’t ready for just how much of it there would be. At one point he said something to the effect that “he complains about virtually everything he has to do that other people are responsible for including him in, and fifty percent of the things he himself chooses to do”. I thought that was funny, in no small part because it sounded true.